


Don't Fall In Love With Me Yet

by roebling



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time, M/M, Pre-debut, clumsy boys figuring things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roebling/pseuds/roebling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae wants Daehyun to fuck him before they debut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Fall In Love With Me Yet

**Author's Note:**

> ummmmmm IDK. Enjoy, anon??? 
> 
> (thank you as always to Jin for the beta<333) 
> 
> Title is from the Magnetic Fields' Absolutely Cuckoo.

“You’re sure about this?” Daehyun asks. 

Youngjae, red faced, is not paying attention. His eyes screw up as he reaches down and back. His legs are spread and Daehyun can see _everything_ : his dick, which is a little smaller than Daehyun’s and cut, so it looks weirdly pink and naked, and his balls, and the tiny dark pucker of his asshole. It seems so small that it’s impossible to imagine it’ll accept even one of Youngjae’s fingers, let alone Daehyun’s dick, which is much thicker, so thick it doesn’t seem like there’s any way it will ever fit. 

“There’s no rush,” he says, nervous. He’s naked too, sitting cross legged on the bed and trying to ignore the tense tight rush of arousal he feels. His dick is hard, jutting up awkwardly, and he’s resisting the urge to reach down and jerk himself off because he’s supposed to fuck Youngjae. 

Youngjae breathes in, deep, and then the tip of the first lube slick finger slips inside, slowly. He grimaces as he pushes in further, past the first knuckle, then the second, then he’s all the way in. His eyelashes flutter. His chest heaves. 

“We’re doing this tonight,” he mutters, grim and focused. His cheeks are so red and the head of his dick keeps brushing against his soft stomach. “Daehyun, I _gave myself an enema_. We’re doing this tonight.” 

Daehyun’s eyes go wide. Youngjae did _what_? He always thought that was something like, porn stars did, and nymphos, and … well. And guys who have gay sex. Still. 

“What did it feel like? How did you get …” 

“Weird,” Youngjae says. His finger slides out, so just the tip is still inside his body. The angle does look easy. The hunch of his back is awkward. “Full. I don’t know.” 

“And did you need to …” Daehyun pauses. Thinks better of himself. He’s in over his head here. This isn’t stuff he knows anything about, other than what Youngjae’s told him. He doesn’t regret or anything -- no, it was some kind of stroke of divine luck when he forgot to lock the bathroom door and Youngjae walked in on him jerking himself off and said, “You know, that feels a lot better if someone else does it.” 

But. This is kind of out of his realm of experience. All of it has been, actually. He takes it in stride (Youngjae reaching down to wrap a hand around his dick, not at all shy, saying, “When I was in JYP there was another trainee I knew and we used to … help each other out,”) but this is a lot. This seems more serious. They’ve never planned like this before. It’s always just been spontaneous -- slipping in the bathroom together when the hyungs aren’t looking and making out in the warm misty shower spray; finding themselves alone in the rehearsal studio late and grinding against each other frantically in the locker room, sweatpants around their knees; even that one, precious afternoon when everyone else had been out and they’d ended up in Youngjae’s messy, musty bed, Daehyun’s dick in Youngjae’s mouth. Youngjae’s dick in his. 

This was premeditated. Youngjae’s voice blew damp on the back of his neck. “Tuesday night -” (Is there any less sexy day?) “- everyone is going to be gone.” 

Daehyun nodded, annoyed. He had fewer lines than anyone but the script for their upcoming variety show was still frustrating him. 

Youngjae waited, calm and smug and unreadable. 

Daehyun scanned the pages, wondered if they could change this stupid face mask idea. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Youngjae said. “Before we debut.” 

So here they are, alone, and Youngjae is sitting with his back against the headboard and a finger -- two fingers now -- up his ass. He slides them out and in and makes a funny twisted face. His legs are bent and his toes are curled and Daehyun can’t tell if it feels good or bad or what. 

Is it supposed to feel good? He has no clue. He’s never thought about doing that to himself or having another guy do it to him, and he’s pretty sure he mostly likes girls. Youngjae, with his broad shoulders and smooth, soft skin, is something he can’t explain and doesn’t understand. 

“Um,” he says. 

“Come here,” Youngjae says, beckoning with his free hand. 

“Um,” Daehyun says, but he crawls across the bed, trying hard to ignore the awkward bob of his cock. 

Youngjae grabs Daehyun’s hand by the wrist and brings it down _there_. This close Daehyun can see the strain in Youngjae’s thighs, the way he clenches, hard, around his fingers. 

“You can feel,” Youngjae says. 

“Ahh,” Daehyun says. They say he talks a lot but maybe he’s in character right now. He’s not goofy, awkward, blabbermouth Daehyun but the silent romantic guy from the variety show. “Um. Okay.” 

He rubs a finger around the stretched skin, dark and glossy from the lube. It’s warmer than he thought it would be. 

“You cut your nails?” Youngjae says, voice hitching. 

Daehyun nods. He followed instructions.

“Good,” Youngjae says. “I can’t imagine how Yongguk hyung … Well, nevermind. Go ahead.” 

“What?” Daehyun asks. He’s missing something. 

“You know,” Youngjae says, cheeks rosy, not meeting his eyes. “Um. You can put one inside too. The lube is over there.” He points with one foot, awkwardly. 

“OH,” Daehyun says. He grabs the little bottle and fumbles with the cap and then gets enough on both his hands that he can’t keep a hold on anything. “Ummmm.” 

He runs a slick fingertip around Youngjae’s hole, around his fingers there. “Should I just …” 

“Yeah,” Youngjae says, barely more than a grunt. “Just do it.” 

Daehyun presses his index finger against the tight ring of muscle, already stretched around two of Youngjae’s own fingers, and he thinks for a second that no, there’s no way, he can’t take any more, but then Youngjae relaxes or something and his finger slips inside, just barely. 

It’s _tight_. He can feel the muscle pulse, trying to fight, but Youngjae’s face is serene and calm even as his chest heaves. He doesn’t look like he’s in pain.

“It’s okay?” Daehyun asks, sound a little hysterical even to himself. 

“Yeah,” Youngjae says. “Deeper.” 

Past the first knuckle, then the second, deeper into a weird, warm, pillowy softness. Daehyun can feel Youngjae’s fingers beside his and he can feel the heat of Youngjae’s body around his and he imagines what it will feel like when it’s his dick and not his finger and … holy shit. He’s going to _fuck_ Youngjae. 

Youngjae’s long hair -- just newly dyed blonde -- falls in front of his face. “You’re not supposed to go too far at once,” he says. His teeth press into his lower lip. “But I’ve been practicing.” 

“What?” Daehyun asks. 

Youngjae shrugs. “It says you should. Or else it’ll hurt too much.” 

“What says? Who are you talking to? Is it that Jaebeom kid?” He can’t imagine when Youngjae’s found time to do this, to sink his fingers into himself deep and rock into the sting of it. 

Youngjae rolls his eyes. “The _internet_ , Daehyun.”

“Oh.” Daehyun frowns. “Well you act like he’s some kind of sex guru, so I don’t …” 

Voice deep, Youngjae says, “I never did this with him. Only with you.” 

Oh. OH. There’s that panic again. 

“Add another finger,” Youngjae says. 

Daehyun nods, dumb, and pulls his finger nearly out, until Youngjae is pressing tight around the fingertip, and then presses his middle finger in too, deep, all at once, so that Youngjae gasps and arches his back and his leg sort of kicks out a little, nearly catching Daehyun in the chin. 

“Sorry,” Daehyun says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to …” 

“It’s okay,” Youngjae says. “It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting so much …” 

Shit. Oh no. “Sorry,” Daehyun says. “Is it too much? Should I …?” 

Youngjae shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Just stay still for a second.” 

Daehyun does. His dick is so hard now that the head is wet with precome. He feels too hot, like his skin is stretched too tight or something. Like he’s thirteen again and about to come without touching himself just from looking at the magazines in his brother’s bottom drawer, magazines with women with big buoyant boobs and no hair at all between their legs, like barbie dolls. 

Youngjae, with the rough dark hair on his legs, with the way his stomach folds softly as he bends forward, with the funny faces he makes and the weird noises deep in his throat, is about as far from a Barbie as you can get, but Daehyun feels the same way he felt then. Overwhelmed and unsure and not at all clear about the right thing to do.

“Youngjae,” Daehyun says, suddenly. Now’s the time. He’s got to come clean or else things are going to progress and then it’s going to be too late and Youngjae’s going to find out eventually and _hate_ him … “Youngjae.” 

“What, Daehyun?” Youngjae’s voice comes out rough. 

“Youngjae,” Daehyun says. “I’m honored you want me to fuck you and all but um. Maybe we should think about this because I really, really like you. I mean. You’re a great guy and um. This is awesome but.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t love you.” 

Youngjae is quiet for a moment and oh god. Daehyun is the worst person in the entire world. He’s broken Youngjae’s heart while he’s got two fingers in Youngjae’s ass and there’s probably some special circle of hell reserved for … 

Laughter. Youngjae’s laughing? What? “Hey! I’m being honest here.” Daehyun frowns (and oh god, he can _feel_ every time that Youngjae laughs. He can feel every deep gasping breath that follows). 

“Daehyun,” Youngjae says. “I don’t love you either.” 

“Wait, what?” 

Youngjae is grinning, showing all his little perfect chicklet teeth. “I don’t … dude. Daehyun. I didn’t ask you to fuck me because I wanted to cement our eternal devotion to each other.” 

Daehyun frowns. Youngjae’s _laughing_ but he’s the one who made it into some big thing, some important plan. “You made it sound all special. You said you wanted to do it before we debuted.” Daehyun can’t see himself now, but he knows his cheeks must be as red as Youngjae’s. 

Youngjae shrugs. Wincing, sudden, he pulls his fingers out. Daehyun’s fingers feel lonely, left behind. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “My shoulder kind of hurts.” He swallows. “I didn’t mean … Daehyun, I like you _a lot_. You’re funny and nice and you don’t act like an idiot all the time, which is good.” 

Daehyun nods. 

“I don’t love you though,” Youngjae says. Daehyun starts to protest, because now he feels like he’s the one being slighted, but Youngjae continues. “I just … I thought maybe it would be good to do it, once, before we debuted. Things might be different, then.” 

Daehyun frowns. They all talk about it that way. _Debut_ , like it’s some metaphysical curtain and once they pass through to the new world on the far side nothing will ever be the same … 

Still. “So you’re not going to let me fuck you after we debut?” 

Youngjae narrows his eyes. “I didn’t say that. You were just saying we couldn’t even have sex now because I’m not your _true love_ or something.” 

“Hey!” Daehyun says. “I didn’t mean that. I just … I didn’t want you to rush or do something hasty because you wanted to …” 

“Daehyun,” Youngjae says. He closes his eyes. “You have your fingers up my ass. I trust you. I like you. I think you’re really hot. I want you to fuck me.” 

“Oh,” Daehyun says. Suddenly, his mind is blank. He can’t think of any objections, not with Youngjae twisting around his fingers, hot and tight and amazing. “Okay. Sure. I mean, if you’re going to make an argument like that ...” 

Youngjae snorts. “Okay,” he says. He presses on his dick with the heel of his palm. “Um, I think you should be on your back. Online they said it would be easiest if I could ride you.” 

Daehyun slowly pulls his fingers out. Youngjae is wide open and empty for a moment, and then he folds his legs neatly and blinks. “Where’s the condom?” 

It’s not exactly like porn. Both their hands are all slippery and Daehyun tears the stupid thing trying to get it open. Youngjae, beaming, holds up another. “I came prepared.” 

There’s a pun in there, if Daehyun could concentrate a little more. 

But then Youngjae is rolling the condom down his dick and opening the bottle of lube and getting it everywhere. Daehyun has a pillow under his back and he’s up on his elbows. Youngjae straddles him, his big pale thighs on either side of Daehyun’s, the muscle straining. 

“So,” Youngjae says, sticking out his tongue like he does when he’s concentrating. “I’m just going to …” He trails off as he sinks down, slowly, but the angle is off at first and Daehyun’s dick just nudges his thigh. “Wait,” Daehyun says, and he wraps a hand around himself. Youngjae looks over his shoulder, red cheeks and bright eyes, and then he lowers himself down again, and the angle is right but holy shit there is no way this is going to work, no way, no way, not even after all of Youngjae’s careful planning. A dick just isn’t meant to go into something that size. It’s not going to … 

Something shifts, and with a smooth, shuddering glide, Daehyun’s _inside him_. “Oh,” he says. 

“Fuck,” Youngjae says. His eyes are shut. “Shit.” 

Something like panic starts to make it’s way up Daehyun’s spine. “Are you okay?” 

But Youngjae nods, slowly. He pulls up, just a little bit, and goes tight around Daehyun’s dick, just below where the head flares out. It feels so good. Daehyun swallows and tries not to squirm or push up but it feels so good and he’s already so turned on and overwhelmed. Suddenly there’s a weird tense ache in his chest that reminds him of when he found out he got into TS. Too much. Too new. Too good. 

“Okay,” Youngjae says. “It’s okay. It’s good.” Then suddenly he sinks down lower on Daehyun’s dick, and his own hand is around his, and it’s all hot and tight and warm and ... 

“Um,” Daehyun says, watching the way the muscle in Youngjae’s neck jumps. “Um.” 

Youngjae drops his weight on Daehyun suddenly. His thighs are against Daehyun’s and his eyes are fluttering and it’s so tight and so warm and this is about a million times _more_ than anything Daehyun’s ever done before with anyone, love or no love. It’s fucking amazing. 

“Um, Youngjae …” 

Daehyun comes, gasping and desperate. Youngjae wrinkles his nose and jerks himself off and comes too, a moment after Daehyun finishes. He gets come all over his hand and his belly.

“Ugh,” he says, glancing down, and now it’s awkward as he pulls off because he’s trying to balance with just the one hand and there’s nothing to clean up with. “Next time we need a towel.” 

Daehyun nods. He’s still feeling kind of cotton headed and great. “Hmmmm,” he says. “Next time. I’ll tell you before I’m going to come, next time.”

“Maybe next time you can wait a little longer before making your announcement.” Daehyun starts to prickle -- it was his first time! -- but he sees Youngjae’s eyes, unfocused and soft, and settles for scowling. Youngjae rolls his eyes, but his snark is muted. He reaches for his discarded tee shirt and wipes himself off, and then tosses it to Daehyun. 

Right. He’s still got the condom on. He pulls it off and ties a knot it in and tosses it on the floor. 

Youngjae starts to get up. 

Daehyun frowns. “Where are you going?” 

Youngjae shrugs. “To shower, I guess.” 

Daehyun swallows. “Hey, I know it’s not true love,” he says, “and, um, I know I came kind of quick, but I think I earned at least a short postcoital cuddle.” 

Youngjae raises an eyebrow. “Postcoital cuddle?” 

Daehyun blinks and tries to look guileless. 

“Ugh,” Youngjae says, “fine.” He curls back against Daehyun, so his head is just pressed into the neat spot between Daehyun’s shoulder and chin. His skin is soft and warm and it feels so good to be this close to him. 

“Thanks,” Daehyun says. 

“My pleasure,” Youngjae says, drowsily. 

Not true love, but it works.


End file.
